Thursday, August 12, 2010

Fighting Inadequacy and Fostering Uniqueness

It’s easy to compare ourselves to other great leaders, pastors and worship leaders and feel like we don't measure up. When I first began worship leading at C3 Church ATL I was following in the footsteps of the mega talented, Jacky Bridgstock. She had just moved back to Australia and I began serving with some other extremely talented worship leaders. They each had their own style and strengths vocally that carried into their worship leading. I struggled for months, feeling my voice was too shaky, too low, too pitchy, blah, blah, blah... we all have our insecurities don't we?!

One night in a group conversation I remember one of the worship leaders I looked up to saying that she had felt insecure about her leading too! I sat in disbelief - surely she knows how good she is?! She went on to say that she realized that she needed to focus on what she was good at and not compare herself to all of us (don't know if she included me in that at the time but since I'm pretty confident now I'll just go ahead and assume she was).

While I can assure you I still sometimes have to pray my confidence into existence, I do know that I needed that revelation to shape who I would and still am becoming. It's not about a gift. It's not even about being the best at your particular strength. It's about your assignment. What did God ask YOU to do. What is it that you do really well, even if it's quirky? I'm really good at admin...Does that make me a really good worship leader...obviously not. But I take all of the pieces that make me unique and give them back to God by serving my Pastors like I'm serving Him. I decide to focus on keeping my strengths my strengths and do little things to improve my weaknesses.

A guy who currently serves in our Visual Arts team originally approached me about singing BV's. I encouraged him to plug in behind the scenes and prove his reliability with something out of the spotlight and then we could talk after a couple of months. What happened next was amazing (clearly, as I'm using it as an example...) He found his niche'! He volunteered to create things that most of the others on the team didn't desire or have time to do. He is my favorite example because he's operating fully in the unique way God created him.

We need to remember that God made us each unique. He gave us each our own assignment and when we understand our individual personality, gifts and pathways we will begin to find confidence in who he created us to be.

Worshiping out of the Anointing: Part 2

Anointing is directly related to how much time we've spent with God. I spoke of this in "Worshipping out of the Anointing: Part 1". To recap: You are a vessel. Time spent with God fills you up. When you lead worship you pour some out. You can only pour out so many times before you need to fill up conclusion, worship leading on empty sucks! Now for part 2...And let me just say that this is not just for worship leaders but for anyone, in any kind of ministry.

A common mistake worship leaders (myself included) make especially in the early years of worship leading is looking at the time we need to spend with God as a task rather than a relationship. There is a great example of this in Luke 10:38. Jesus visits Martha's home and while she's busy fussing about preparing a meal (focusing on task) Mary drops everything to sit at Jesus' feet and hang on every word he says. Martha get's frustrated at the fact that Mary is choosing to not help her and rest at His feet. As a result, Jesus basically tells Martha she's missed it, she views God's presence as a task rather than just enjoying it.

Who doesn't like to be served? If you likened your relationship to God as a marriage it might look something like this....Marriage is all about serving your other half but if all we ever did was bustle about serving each other and never sit to enjoy each other's company we would start to question the other persons motives for serving. God wants to enjoy our company, to speak to us just as much as we speak to him. He wants for us to go on a date with him rather than just give him a kiss on the way out the door.

Look at spending time with God as you would a best friend or spouse. It causes your feelings of inadequacy to fade and you will gain the confidence to lead from a standpoint of knowing God and his character.