Thursday, August 12, 2010

Fighting Inadequacy and Fostering Uniqueness

It’s easy to compare ourselves to other great leaders, pastors and worship leaders and feel like we don't measure up. When I first began worship leading at C3 Church ATL I was following in the footsteps of the mega talented, Jacky Bridgstock. She had just moved back to Australia and I began serving with some other extremely talented worship leaders. They each had their own style and strengths vocally that carried into their worship leading. I struggled for months, feeling my voice was too shaky, too low, too pitchy, blah, blah, blah... we all have our insecurities don't we?!

One night in a group conversation I remember one of the worship leaders I looked up to saying that she had felt insecure about her leading too! I sat in disbelief - surely she knows how good she is?! She went on to say that she realized that she needed to focus on what she was good at and not compare herself to all of us (don't know if she included me in that at the time but since I'm pretty confident now I'll just go ahead and assume she was).

While I can assure you I still sometimes have to pray my confidence into existence, I do know that I needed that revelation to shape who I would and still am becoming. It's not about a gift. It's not even about being the best at your particular strength. It's about your assignment. What did God ask YOU to do. What is it that you do really well, even if it's quirky? I'm really good at admin...Does that make me a really good worship leader...obviously not. But I take all of the pieces that make me unique and give them back to God by serving my Pastors like I'm serving Him. I decide to focus on keeping my strengths my strengths and do little things to improve my weaknesses.

A guy who currently serves in our Visual Arts team originally approached me about singing BV's. I encouraged him to plug in behind the scenes and prove his reliability with something out of the spotlight and then we could talk after a couple of months. What happened next was amazing (clearly, as I'm using it as an example...) He found his niche'! He volunteered to create things that most of the others on the team didn't desire or have time to do. He is my favorite example because he's operating fully in the unique way God created him.

We need to remember that God made us each unique. He gave us each our own assignment and when we understand our individual personality, gifts and pathways we will begin to find confidence in who he created us to be.

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